When mediation (which is a thoroughly unproductive circus with a narcissist) inevitably failed, and my attorney told me we needed to prepare for trial, we met to discuss what to expect, next steps, and all things preparation. At one point he asked me how I survived all of the mistreatment. I said,
"My faith. Only God could have brought me through what I have experienced over all of these years. He comforted, guided, and kept me through every dark day, every dark moment."
My attorney said,
"I will be sure you have an opportunity to share this with the court."
I gained a new resolve that day. I determined that this situation was bigger than me. This journey was deeper than my trauma, deeper than my survivor story. God allowed all of this for at least one reason: Someone in that courtroom needed to hear about the glorious, unmatched, powerful, completely lovely name of Jesus. And God chose me to tell it.
I was reminded that the depths of this overwhelming giant of a situation - preparing to go to divorce trial - reflected the true battle of The Great Controversy: the conflict between the Lord and Satan, the one who wants to be Lord.
This was an opportunity for my life to serve as a stage on which the character of God could be revealed afresh. It was my opportunity to respond to my circumstances according to the knowledge I had about the Lord.
Resolute that this battle was the Lord's and not mine, I decided to put on my big girl pants, dig in, and buckle up. As His soldier, I armored myself with His word, with His promises.
”…the battle is the LORD'S, and he will give you into our hands."
– 1 Samuel 17:47
"Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts."
- Zechariah 4:6
He is strong; He is mighty; He is faithful.
"For you have been a stronghold to the poor,
a stronghold to the needy in his distress,
a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat;
for the breath of the ruthless is like a storm against a wall..."
- Isaiah 25:4
The Lord is compassionate and just. I am His child and out of His great love, He cares for His children.
"I know that the Lord will maintain the cause of the afflicted,
and will execute justice for the needy."
- Psalm 140:12
As I researched the divorce trial process and heard many say that the proceedings were just like trials in the movies, I beat back my nerves and what-ifs with the reminder that God would not only be with me, but that He had gone before me and already provided.
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed,
for I am your God; I will strengthen you,
I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
- Isaiah 41:10
“Be strong and courageous.
Do not fear or be in dread of them,
for it is the Lord your God who goes with you.
He will not leave you or forsake you.”
– Joshua 1:9
"The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you;
He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.
Do not fear or be dismayed.”
- Deuteronomy 31:8
He provided community to support me. God sent dear friends to accompany me in the courtroom, praying, and being a tremendous support. One even brought her Bible, opened it and prayed God's promises over me during the trial.
“If you open your heart to the hungry,
and provide abundantly for those who are afflicted,
your light will shine in the darkness, and your gloom will be like the noon."
– Isaiah 58:10
I watched God take care of the lies and attempts at subterfuge.
"No weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed,
and you shall refute every tongue that rises against you in judgment.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord
and their vindication from me, declares the Lord.”
- Isaiah 54:17
Not only had He provided, but He also provided victory.
"The horse is made ready for the day of battle
but victory rests with the Lord."
- Proverbs 21:31
He proved that if we leave vengeance to Him, He'll work everything out much better than we ever could.
"He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun."
- Psalm 37:6 NIV
"He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,"
and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.
- Psalm 37:6 NLT
During this legal journey, one of the most profound experiences I had was partnering with God to use what the enemy intended for evil for great good instead. It wasn’t enough to just shine God's light in the courtroom during the trial, I wanted it to shine in as many spaces as it possibly could!
I determined to place encouraging Bible literature on as many vehicles in the courthouse parking lots, in as many bathroom stalls, and on as many transit bus seats during the ride between the parking lot and the courthouse building as I possibly could every single day I had to be at that county courthouse!
The thrill of praying for God's healing, provision, peace, justice, and revelation of truth over the individuals who would encounter the little tracts buoyed me up in a way that replaced my nervousness with boldness.
The Lord blessed me with an excellent attorney and with a mother who helped me afford that attorney. Ultimately, however, the Lord was my attorney. By His strength and encouragement, I was able to see the bigger purpose for my turmoil and I reflect on this incredibly stressful experience with so much gratitude for the Lord.
How did you experience the Lord’s leading and deliverance during your divorce proceedings? I’d love to hear about it.
Your voice matters. Your story matters. You matter. Your valley will be exalted, and your triumph will bring glory to God.
Comentários