When I saw the post below, I thought: “I wish more people understood that the misunderstanding and misapplication of scripture is so dangerous and damaging and sometimes fatal.”
The wife committed to her vows knows she is suffering in her marriage, but because she believes hurting people hurt people she sees it as her duty to support her husband through the healing he obviously needs. She's all in for the King, engaging in spiritual warfare, fighting the good fight for her man and her children, loving, fasting, praying, & slaying dragons. She sees no other way because she's unsure about separation and doesn't believe divorce is an option.
Unable to identify her experience as abuse - particularly in the case of covert narcissistic abuse - she endures the suffering, determined to be faithful to the Lord and to what she believes is her calling to stand in the gap. She soldiers on for the King, believing and hoping that each day holds the promise of a miracle.
Meanwhile, he has no intention to truly seek and receive help because he sees no problem with himself or his behavior. Because he's accustomed to taking and not truly giving, he's content to sit back and let her fight for the right while he carries on. He adds spiritual abuse to the list now because he readily and regularly takes advantage of her commitment to honor the vows in the face of his mistreatment. Though she believes she is doing the Lord's work, he is being enabled and emboldened in his evil.
This is one reason why domestic violence awareness campaigns are so important.
If you are suffering in your marriage, please take the time to discover the reason. Learn more about the various manifestations of abuse. Know that advice offered for Difficult and Disappointing Marriages cannot be applied to Destructive Marriages. Two extremely helpful resources can be found at Leslie Vernick and Wilderness to Wild. Protect your purpose and determine to get the help you need. God did not call you to suffer to advance evil. He called you to an abundant life that glorifies Him.
Your Voice Matters. Your Story Matters. Your Life Matters. You Matter.