"His Side, Her Side, & the Truth"

One of the most maddening, saddening things for a victim of abuse to hear is the statement:

"There are three sides to every story: his side, her side, and the truth."

This statement is maddening and saddening for a victim of abuse because it serves to revictimize her with an untruth and blame.

It is frustrating to have someone who knows nothing about a person's situation - especially in a covert narcissistic abuse situation in which the abuser appears to be benevolent - to judge that somehow the victim's account is not complete.

The truth is that very often the victim's account about a situation is just as she has reported it.

Part of the trouble with believing that one person - the victim - could be sharing the entire truth about the situation is that the abuser has often positioned himself as a pillar of society. In some cases, he is a professional who is active in his church and says all of the right things about God, his wife, and children when in public. He is charismatic and a master of manipulation.

Yes, it takes two to make a marriage work, but understand well that it only takes one to destroy it.

If you are a domestic violence survivor (which includes emotional and psychological abuse), please find a safe person with whom you can share your experience.

If you are a survivor of narcissistic abuse, try to find support with another survivor or thriver. Abandon the expectation that someone who has never experienced this type of hell or has not been trauma-trained would understand your experience.

You deserve and need proper support on your healing journey. Visit our Resources page to explore support options.

Your voice matters. Your story matters. You matter. Your valley will be exalted and your triumph will bring glory to God.