We often hear that God hates divorce.
But can we also take a moment to consider what else God hates?
Proverbs 6:16-19 says:
There are six things the Lord hates,
seven that are detestable to him:
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
a false witness who pours out lies,
and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.
This passage describes some of the behaviors of the narcissist. The narcissist is arrogant. Everyone else has the problem except for them.
The narcissist lies about just about everything. You're better off assuming they are lying when you are speaking to them and then take the time to investigate, rather than take them at face value.
The narcissist will embrace any means necessary to satisfy what they want. The other woman got pregnant while his wife was pregnant, so he makes her abort her baby, shedding innocent blood.
Because the narcissist is always lying, highly jealous, and entirely vindictive, they seem constantly committed to crafting wicked schemes to support or satisfy their fantasies, double life, and unresolved anger.
The narcissist is always thinking about how to satisfy their desires, whims, and (often delusional) expectations. They make provision for the flesh - including in response to their unhealed rage - and go full steam ahead, often rushing into evil to get what they feel they are entitled to have. The narcissist is never satisfied.
Also textbook narcissistic behavior is that they are false witnesses, lying about their ex or soon-to-be ex. More often than not, their accusations and lies are confessions, but they rely on flying monkeys to not be aware of that fact.
As they wreak havoc and destruction, they negatively affect the community of which their families are a part. Relationships are destroyed on every level, and narcissists are the common denominator.
Why does God hate these behaviors? I think part of the reason is that, in addition to reflecting
people who themselves are dysfunctional and need healing, they are so destructive to other individuals, families, and communities. God hates the behaviors of narcissists because they are behaviors that do the bidding of the enemy to steal, kill, and destroy.
Because God hates the behaviors and the destructive fruit they produce, and because He loves people above institutions, divorce has to be an option for those suffering under such tyranny.
In highlighting that, "God hates divorce," while ignoring the other things God hates, Christianity is weaponized to demonize the very thing that HE put in place to protect the innocent and abused: divorce.
We as Christians have been called to advance the cause of God by promoting liberation, love, peace, and justice. We have not been called to advance the cause of evil by encouraging an abused spouse to stay in a destructive marriage.