Experiencing the trauma of narcissistic abuse can leave you reeling, threatening to make you feel hopeless and helpless. The pain truly cuts to the core of you, often slowly while the deliberate, covert, manipulative, and destructive schemes of the person who claims to love you chisel away at you bit by bit. The tears seem like they will never end. The cruelty and injustice of it all are so suffocating and utterly draining.
By nature of your reality, you—and sometimes your children—are the only ones who can see the truth of the double life of your Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It appears from the outside that the narcissist in your life (who you are married to, or separated, or divorced from) is doing well, especially if they have found another supply—oh, I mean partner.
Be assured, however, that God is not mocked. His Word is true. We do reap what we sow.
Remember that the mercy we all receive is a result of God not punishing us in the way we deserve because of sin. The grace we all receive is a result of God blessing us in spite of our position of unworthiness. And favor—whew, favor!—is the tangible evidence that a person has the approval of God.
Don’t worry about what the narcissist is up to and what it looks like. We don’t walk by sight; we walk by faith – in God’s Word. God knows what’s up and He can handle it. He is loving and He is also just. He also cannot lie, so His Word is true and can be trusted.
Without true repentance, what you are seeing is someone enjoying God’s mercy and grace. But listen—while I appreciate and am so grateful for His mercy and grace, there is something I covet more: His favor. May the Lord give us more of His Sweet Spirit to live favorably.
Friend, keep your eyes on Jesus. Remember that weeping endures for a night, but joy will come in the morning. Hold on.
I want to encourage you to find comfort and rest and strength in God's word. A friend shared Psalm 37 with me to help shine a light on the darkness I experienced, and I want to share it with you. Be blessed.
Psalm 37 (NKJV)
1 Do not fret because of evildoers,
Nor be envious of the workers of iniquity.
2 For they shall soon be cut down like the grass,
And wither as the green herb.
3 Trust in the Lord, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
4 Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.
6 He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,
And your justice as the noonday.
7 Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath;
Do not fret—it only causes harm.
9 For evildoers shall be cut off;
But those who wait on the Lord,
They shall inherit the earth.
10 For yet a little while and the wicked shall be no more;
Indeed, you will look carefully for his place,
But it shall be no more.
11 But the meek shall inherit the earth,
And shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.
12 The wicked plots against the just,
And gnashes at him with his teeth.
13 The Lord laughs at him,
For He sees that his day is coming.
14 The wicked have drawn the sword
And have bent their bow,
To cast down the poor and needy,
To slay those who are of upright conduct.
15 Their sword shall enter their own heart,
And their bows shall be broken.
16 A little that a righteous man has
Is better than the riches of many wicked.
17 For the arms of the wicked shall be broken,
But the Lord upholds the righteous.
18 The Lord knows the days of the upright,
And their inheritance shall be forever.
19 They shall not be ashamed in the evil time,
And in the days of famine they shall be satisfied.
20 But the wicked shall perish;
And the enemies of the Lord,
Like the splendor of the meadows, shall vanish.
Into smoke they shall vanish away.
21 The wicked borrows and does not repay,
But the righteous shows mercy and gives.
22 For those blessed by Him shall inherit the earth,
But those cursed by Him shall be cut off.
23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord,
And He delights in his way.
24 Though he falls, he shall not be utterly cast down;
For the Lord upholds him with His hand.
25 I have been young, and now am old;
Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken,
Nor his descendants begging bread.
26 He is ever merciful, and lends;
And his descendants are blessed.
27 Depart from evil, and do good;
And dwell forevermore.
28 For the Lord loves justice,
And does not forsake His saints;
They are preserved forever,
But the descendants of the wicked shall be cut off.
29 The righteous shall inherit the land,
And dwell in it forever.
30 The mouth of the righteous speaks wisdom,
And his tongue talks of justice.
31 The law of his God is in his heart;
None of his steps shall slide.
32 The wicked watches the righteous,
And seeks to slay him.
33 The Lord will not leave him in his hand,
Nor condemn him when he is judged.
34 Wait on the Lord,
And keep His way,
And He shall exalt you to inherit the land;
When the wicked are cut off, you shall see it.
35 I have seen the wicked in great power,
And spreading himself like a native green tree.
36 Yet he passed away, and behold, he was no more;
Indeed I sought him, but he could not be found.
37 Mark the blameless man, and observe the upright;
For the future of that man is peace.
38 But the transgressors shall be destroyed together;
The future of the wicked shall be cut off.
39 But the salvation of the righteous is from the Lord;
He is their strength in the time of trouble.
40 And the Lord shall help them and deliver them;
He shall deliver them from the wicked,
And save them,
Because they trust in Him.
Friend, be encouraged by God’s word. His word is truth.
You matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your valley will be exalted and your triumph will bring glory to God. Trust Him.